Discipline...

All is well here...Sean hasn't had any gauze taped to his face for the last couple of days...Mac is back at home which, among many things, means he and I can finally catch up on episodes of Project Runway...and I have been bouncing around the house like a crazy person getting stuff done with that hope that by tonight I will be relaxed and ready for tomorrow...the first day.

Over the weekend with this first day of school looming larger with every ticking minute I took account of various aspects of my life and realized I have a problem.  I think it can be summed up as this, a lack of discipline.  Despite my best intentions I manage to rarely be able to "stick to it"...no matter what it is...

School...although I don't quit I certainly lose my resolve to be on top of the workload and leave myself stressing several times throughtout each semester

Eating...don't even get me started...suffice it to say it would be a miracle if I could get through one week without needlessly shoving some kind of crap into my mouth

Exercise...truly one of the things that makes me feel better than anything else...yet I don't do it consistently

Spending...stretching the meaning of what I "need"...not looking at the bigger picture and taking careful consideration of every dollar

Reading...I dream...seriously dream...of being a person who reads books voraciously yet I don't do it...instead I fall asleep to the television, I read blogs, and flip through magazines

Cooking...again I dream of home-cooked meals and eating together at the table and there is not a single reason why it should not happen except for my own laziness and lack of commitment

So if these are the things I want why don't I do them...or if I try to do them why don't I do them consistently?  I am blessed with the time and opportunity to accomplish everything I listed and more.  Sure I have my strengths and weaknesses...we all do...but how can I not manage a way to tap into some steadfast discipline?   Not a week, month or year...a lifetime. 

Sorry to make you endure in my reveling in the pseudo "new year" that the start of school brings...an attempt to reassess and rededicate...and I am in desperate need of some re-dedication.

I'm eager to get the stack of syllabi into my hands from my four classes so I know what my fate is until December...amazing to think of all the reading, studying and writing that starts up again tomorrow...so with that I am off to enjoy my last few hours of freedom...and to make dinner...and exercise...and read. :)

Comments

[Frances]

There are Others! This post could have been written by me except no gauze on my husband and I'd replace "school" with "work". Though, frankly the activities that you do and post on your blog betray lack of discipline--you get a lot done, lady!

[Michelle]

And I was just saying to myself, "look how much Nora gets done. Planning amazing road trips, parties, presents, decorating, painting, scrapbooking...on and on." You can't possibly do all of that and still go to school and all the other stuff you said you don't get done.

Don't be so hard on yourself! Seems like you're doing great:)

Michelle

[Nicole C]

If you ever figure this out PLEASE do share!! Discpline is definitely something I struggle with DAILY. From the complicated diets as you mentioned down to the mundane - picking up my dirty towels, lol.

[shelley e]

Nora- I am right there with you...good luck with school this semester!

[jennifer]

I am right there with you sister. I have always said I'm a great started but a crappy finisher! I wish I could fix that problem and have some endurance! Thanks for sharing and confirming that I am not the only one out here.

[annie]

Dude.........we could be best friends!! :) I felt like I was reading a description of myself!
Good luck this year, you will do great!

[Tricia]

Good luck with the new semester - you will be amazing!! I think we all struggle with self discipline. Believe me, I struggle with the exact same things you mentioned. I think it is because of the daily commitment and making a good decision all the time. When I get tired it all falls apart. But, school years are great new beginnings!! :) I was trying to wrap up my summer stuff before I go back to work and I finished all my LOs from your class. I love them!! Thanks again!

[Essie]

Hi Nora-
I landed on your blog thru a friend *e* (aka erika).
I totally feel your pain ;) and to make matters worse...I'm a TEACHER!
Hang in there girl-your pages inspire me to be a more disciplined "Scrappy Momma" when it comes to MY OWN kinder, and not just the littles that I teach (1st grade this year). We live in Germany right now, and the photo ops are phenominal...I need to make the most out of this time, and, your beautiful outlook on scrapping has me trying-oh my stars, trying-to do more!
You'll do fine this semester...stick with it!
Best,
Essie

[natalie]

Good luck with your new semester...
I think one of the reasons we don't do all the things we really hope to be doing is because our lives our so full of "nonsense" sometimes...things that just zap the time and energy out of our day. I struggle with those things too and I feel we spend so much "time" in our electronic world, running errand after errand, shuffling kid(s) here and there to one practice or activity after another, too many hobbies, too many things we have said "yes" to. Plus, there are times that some of it has to go or at least some of the expectations just need to be revised and maybe more realistic.

[Sandy]

Good luck at school...love your new header! Take things one step at a time, and don't be so hard on yourself, afterall nobody gets out of this alive! Enjoy the day to day, it is hard to be a student and have to worry about dinner, etc...most college students just go to the cafeteria for all of their meals, never make their beds and have nobody else to worry about. Remember to give yourself a pat on the back just for taking the risk of going back to school. Some people never do that, they just always think well, I could do this...and before you know it years have passed and they are still thinking about what they could've done, or been. You have a full buffet in front of you, and maybe you should just opt for the kids meal and keep it simple for now. Good luck!

[rhonacs]

I think you're being quite hard on yourself, you have a fair bit on your plate and I can assure you, you are a lot more disciplined than many people. I, too, would like to do all the things you list but like Karen says, perhaps we just need to take it day by day and see what we can achieve little by little.

[Karen]

You know, you don't have to resolve to do it all for the coming year. All you have to do is resolve to do it a bit better today. And if you fail, then tomorrow you resolve once more to do a bit better, and even if you do only one thing better, it is more than you would have done.

[Wendy]

I hear ya! I was going to start my 'new year' today and failed miserably because I felt blah. Maybe tomorrow??

[Kalyn]

Hi Nora,
Today was my first day of classes too! It's my senior year in college so I'm very excited to almost be done, but I also suffer from a lack of discipline. I had the first-day-of-class-breakdown today where I thought "I can't do it. I can't do it." But then, I realized that it is temporary, I can complete two more semesters, and I will. And I know you can too! I also stress out several times a semester (and week haha) so I totally know how you feel! Good luck with your new classes!!!
~Kalyn