Just Make Stuff

Monday morning...

 

It works out well to have classes on Tuesday and Thursday since that frees up my Monday mornings for scrubbing the kitchen sink and re-organizing the fridge for the 1000th time...and I've been trying to be vigilant about finishing up the laundry since Sean the wonder-husband does 99% of it on the weekends...usually what's left is towels and sheets and I actually like folding towels...love the neat stacks...especially the one of my colorful washcloths...then they get stuffed into this plastic basket in our shower.

Although I really have been doing this...part of me is also talking about laundry to tease my mother who teases me ruthlessly about Sean doing our laundry and, as of yesterday, is now teasing me about my blog...along with my sister.  The three of us had a discussion yesterday in which my blog came up and then it was jokes all through dinner.  So now I have to keep talking about how great they both are so I don't get myself in trouble. :)

My mom and I ended up having one of marathon talks in her driveway until just after 1am...one of the things that came up was Mac and what he was watching on TV...we limit the channels and shows he is allowed to watch but then he'll end up watching TV with us...often Friends re-runs or his beloved Ugly Betty.  Mom pointed out what the content of these shows were and I really realized how immune I am to all of it. It was one thing when this stuff went over his head when he was younger, but that's not the case anymore.  It makes me really ashamed as a parent now that I think more about it this morning...Sean and I are lazy and we let him watch way too much.  I was worried about how I go about taking away all this TV that Mac is so used to and my mom suggested we commit to spending the time with him doing something he chooses.  So tonight we'll sit down at the dinner table together (something else we're really bad about) and make a list...maybe we can right down ideas of what he'd enjoy on cards and he can draw one each time we make a concerted effort to keep the television off.

I really need to be much more attentive about this and so many other things when it comes to Mac...he's almost eleven years old and it's like we're coming into the final stretch before he's a teenager and increasingly taking charge of his own life and choices.  I want so much for him, but I don't think I've been as vigilant as I need to be to see it all through...hopefully this will be a good step in the right direction...

Even luckier...

I'm just trying to conjugate the word "lucky" as many times as I can today :)

We had dinner and got new shoes...and a new t-shirt to go with the new shoes...and a couple of new baby boy outfits to take to Jack tomorrow...and I counted my blessings...I was extra grateful every time Mac put his hand in mine as we walked along...and when I hung out with my neighbors when I got home for a little bit making plans to indulge in mojitos and have all the kids play outside tomorrow night...I was extra grateful to enjoy watching Grey's Anatomy with Sean and was extra struck by Meredith saying (and I paraphrase) "the one thing you can't have is the one thing you want the most" and at the end "the people who are the worse off are those who don't know what they want"...don't you love when a silly (but freaking awesome) TV show seemingly speaks directly to you?

I know what I want...it's what I have...and I think, despite these heavy-hearted setbacks, that somehow someway it'll just keep getting better.

Thanks for letting me pour that out yet again...I guess it's my blog and I get to say whatever I want...but when you patiently choose to read it for the sixtieth time please know how much it means to me...to have place where I can feel like I'm sending my thoughts off into somewhere...wherever that might be...I literally feel the weight lift off my heart when I get get it out.  I'm sure this won't be the last time unfortunately so please let me apologize and thank you in advance...this journal is a key aspect of whatever this whole journey thing is that I'm on.

Luckiness...

My science class and field-trip was canceled today...best news ever...it gave me the opportunity to run over to the hospital to see one of my good friends who had her baby boy last night...she and her husband didn't find out what they were having so it was extra exciting to hear that little Jack had arrived safely. 

If I were honest I'd admit that my heart kind of aches still...I try to put on this whole brave face and it works...it really does...until it doesn't and I have to cry it out and move on...again...being grateful that the pain is as bad as it's been before, but wondering if it can still get better.  All the while feeling guilty that I can never manage to not be heartbroken...and hating that this sounds like a sorrowful broken record.

So I'm going to dry these tears and feel better that I let it out....broken record or not. 

I'm going to pick up Mac from school and hug him tight. Then when Sean gets home we'll take Mac to buy the new converse tennis shoes he's been eagerly awaiting since he got his new brace earlier in the week...and then off to his promised dinner at Olive Garden...and I'll sit at the table and see these two amazing guys in my life and remind myself how lucky I am. 

I should be studying...

for my science quiz tomorrow but it's the last thing I want to do...I just got home a little while ago from a day with my sister and I'm all full of energy...doesn't help that I had diet coke with dinner...now that I'm old caffeine is not my friend after like three in the afternoon.

I met Peg late this morning over at the doctor's office just in time to hold poor little Caleb as he got his first round of immunizations today...it's funny because my sister is the type of girl who was literally checking out all the cadavers when we'd be in the anatomy lab while my Dad was teaching medical students meanwhile I was huddled in a corner reading Sweet Valley High...medical stuff doesn't phase her at all, but she's always been scared of needles and apparently that's extended to Caleb...I have to admit in my years of having to just about body slam Mac down on a table for shots I thought I'd become pretty jaded, but when those pained screams came out of Caleb tears sprung to my eyes...poor little guy...he hung in there though and wasn't too grumpy today.

Peg and I went up to her house to give him a chance to rest and ended up going through the box of stuff she has from Dad that got left behind when he moved to Oklahoma.  That's where this photo came from...it's my baptism almost 31 years ago...in my grandma's back yard which was one of my favorite places on earth. My mom's holding me with my grandpa and grandma sitting on both sides of her...my dad's standing in the back and his mom sitting next to my grandma.  Oh I cannot wait to scrap this...I've never really gotten the chance to do anything with older photos but this one I kidnapped from Peg and claimed it since it's my baptism...then I grabbed a couple of others that I swore on my life I would give back after I scanned them.

She helped me buy LOTS of flowers and vegetables to fill our new garden beds, then we met up with Sean and Clase (Peg's husband) for dinner...it was the first time I've eaten at what is now officially my new favorite restaurant, but considering I had tri-tip, macaroni and cheese and roasted garlic mashed potatoes I should never go back if I'd ever like to actually lose weight...but it was so ridiculously good...like I-couldn't-wipe-the-smile-off-my-face-as-I-put-every-bite-of-food-into-my-mouth good.

Then Clase was super-dad and offered to take Caleb home so we could wander around Borders bookstore for a little bit...I excitedly picked up this magazine now that I'm a women's studies fiend.

But I will be good now that it's after 11pm and will head to bed armed with my flashcards and try and drill molecular science and terrestrial biomes knowledge into my head.

Goodnight. :)

Nothing exciting...

I don't have anything terribly noteworthy to discuss tonight...just a regular old day...but a good one. 

My history class is watching Iron Jawed Angels this week and guess who's in it?  Patrick Dempsey...that is all I need for a good morning...oh and the movie is really interesting too. :)

Then I got to spend a couple hours this afternoon reading on my front porch...warm sunshine and a cool breeze...it's moments like this that make me realize I lead a pretty darn charmed life.

Shopping...

In between schoolwork today I did a little on-line shopping...wandered over to The Children's Place website when I read about a sale on Susan's blog and I found this shirt that Mr. money-saving McIntosh needed and a pair of orange shorts since he's decided that's his new very favorite color.

Then I was doing some internet research on Georgia O'Keeffe for a history class presentation I'm due to give soon and ended up at Amazon and picked up some summer reading since I'm almost done reading my history books, but am eager to keep learning...it's like I enjoy it or something :)

Sean did some shopping too...he made three trips to our local hardware store in order to fix a broken sprinkler and then went to Home Depot and apparently filled our minivan completely with dirt, peat-moss, and other dirt-like substances that I don't completely understand.  All of this in order to fill our/his newly finished raised-bed vegetable garden...he actually came right upstairs to get the camera before unloading all of it. 

I came up with this crazy idea and he's been a willing participant and it's altogether humorous considering we can barely grow anything...but I guess we'll call it a hobby...since these are going to be very expensive vegetables when you average the costs of materials and labor per tomato or green bean. :)

He's back...

Now that it's almost 10 o'clock Pacific Standard Time Mac's awake snuggled in our bed watching the Style Network of course...but about an hour ago Sean carried him into our room so we could lovingly harass him into waking up since he's re-acclimating from Hawaii time. 

I joked with friends this week that, although I missed him so much while he was gone, that once the first whining and complaining came out of his mouth I'd probably want to send him back. Well there's been plenty of whining so far (after he had to start tackling some schoolwork and studying for his first big states test) and I still want him around. :)  I love hearing him randomly start singing from the other room...I love that he's so excited to tell us all about his trip...I love that he keeps giving me random hugs...I love how he unpacked his backpack full of random crap, I mean treasures, and left it all over his bedroom floor...okay well maybe I don't love that too much. :)

But it's Saturday morning...we're all in pajamas...Sean the wonder-husband/step-dad wanted to make waffles and bacon for Mac to celebrate his homecoming...and we have no official plans for the day...that's about as good as it gets. :)

Feeling good...

This blurry photo is from that first mile night last month...the whole catching a cold thing kind of took the wind out of me as far as jogging goes, but I've been getting back to mixing some of it in with our daily walks...and I was reminded tonight that it just feels so good to accomplish any bit of it.  It feels good to have my stomach sore from doing sit-ups when we got back home tonight.  It felt good to be down another pound at Weight Watchers today (8.3 total so far).  It felt good to go to the grocery store and make lots of good choices...fruits and vegetables and my trusty 100 calorie packs.  It feels good to already be fitting into smaller clothes.  And it even felt good when I broke out the Dancing with the Stars DVD we got Mac...surprisingly it's actually kind of fun. :)

I just wanted to get this written down so the next time I'm struggling with not wanting to exercise or wanting to bake and eat two dozen chocolate chip cookies I can remind myself that ultimately the feeling I have tonight is so much better than laziness or cookies. 

Part of me is completely ashamed that this is my third time trying to lose weight...part of me still needs to work on getting in touch with the fact that this will be an never-ending battle...but I just need to suck it up and keeping doing what I'm doing...and remember that it really does feel good. 

Numbers...

When I posted one of the layouts I made on Saturday night on 2Peas today I realized it was my 500th...

and then I posted my 501st...

Numbers is how I did the random drawing too...I just went down to Sean who was exercising in the garage and had him pick three numbers and then I counted comments to see who they matched up with for the envelopes of ribbon...

#16--Posted by: april | April 15, 2007 at 07:54 PM

#27--Posted by: Tammy | April 15, 2007 at 09:04 PM

#76--Posted by: valerie | April 16, 2007 at 05:06 PM

Please send me your addresses. :)

Okay, now I'm addicted...

The antique market was really fun...prices were okay...not great bargains but there was definitely some cool stuff.  I'm officially a globe whore...seriously cannot get enough of them...I know it's because they're colorful and I'm a sucker for anything colorful.  I found a couple 70's Pyrex bowls..a couple of cheap gardening books to tear into...and the four drawer thing I had to have...oh and there was this booth full of old trims and ribbons that was my favorite...and as I was putting away my new finds I decided I need to share a little so I made up three little envelopes with pieces of each of the ribbons I found...so if you'd like, just leave a comment before 8pm Monday night and then I'll just do a random drawing to see whose homes they'll be off to...

If I have to blow my nose one more freaking time...

and other random thoughts as I sit in my pajamas on a Saturday night scrapbooking and listening to music way too loud...

1) My Aquamarine Fluid Chalk Ink Pad is my very favorite...but I wish they'd come out with new colors

2) I am NEVER going to be able to fall asleep tonight considering I slept-in until 9am, we went for a walk at 8pm, and I had a diet coke with dinner

3) I need to be up early tomorrow since we decided to go check this out

4) Do colds ever end?  Seriously my nose is raw from blowing it like a 100 times a day...I'm so sick of it...pun intended

5) Got to talk to Mac yesterday...Bryce was in the background teasing me and I have to admit it was hysterical..."No, McIntosh you cannot go sky diving your mom said you have to be careful...and don't even ask me about swimming with the sharks again..." Today was the wedding so hopefully I can talk to them again tomorrow...did I mention I miss him?

Last Day...

We dropped Mac off at Bryce's a couple of hours ago...I hugged him six times, but managed to hold back any tears until they closed the front door.  I know he'll be fine, have the time of his life, and the week will fly by...but it's still so hard for me for some reason. 

I guess I'll just embrace the quiet because there's going to be a lot of it around here for the next seven days.  It's kind of nice tonight considering we spent the afternoon at Boomers which was packed with kids on spring break.  Thankfully our choice of the yellow miniature golf course was a good one and we breezed right through.  Mac got two hole-in-one's...but who was the winner?  Me :)...I didn't gloat too much though over poor second-place Sean.  Then we hit the arcade games in a major way and Mac carefully spent his 570 tickets...it was a great way to spend his last spring break day with us.

Oh, do I miss him already...

Now that's what I call Spring Break...

Sean and Mac are off this week...so that means I don't have to be up to take Mac to school and I get to have them both around the house which makes me so happy.

Sean already started in on his inevitable productiveness that I love so much...he cleaned all the windows and screens around the house yesterday.

Then we took off on a long walk to go have lunch at one of our favorite restaurants.  Walking the couple of miles to Old Towne Orange is one of those things I always think to do, but there's not enough time, or it's too hot out, or something...yesterday it was perfect though.  My mom and my sister met us there for lunch and we stopped for gelato and then Sean, Mac and I walked home...well Mac rode his bike-board home.  I think I want to walk down there now everyday. :) 

Today there's lots to do...Sean just took Mac to some assessment testing right now, I have a science test this afternoon, Mac is getting casted for his new brace later in the day, and we need all kinds of groceries in the worst way. Then tomorrow is going to be our last day with Mac before he's off on his trip so hopefully we can figure out one more fun Spring Break-ish activity to do together...

Happy Easter...

My brother had to leave before the post-brunch photos, but here are various combinations of family...Mac took the last one while my mom was feeding Caleb. 

Brunch was delicious...prime rib and as much chocolate as possible are all I really need in this world...well that and a loooong walk to try and work off a couple bites of it.

Happy Easter!

My son summed up in an Easter basket...

Sean and I hit Target HARD tonight since I've been putting off a trip for over a week. One of the things we got done was we finished filling Mac's Easter basket.  When I got it all in there (barely) I realized it's like a microcosm of who Mac is... :)

1. a glow-in-the-dark soccer ball...not because he plays with a team or anything, but because he and Sean play outside a lot and apparently Mac told him he wanted one (of course it might actually be that Sean wanted one)

2. Crayola something...because he loves crafts...surprise surprise

3. High School Musical notebook since he LOVES it and you can never have enough paper

4. some Zoom-O ball tosser/catcher thing (that's the technical term) that I found last month and wanted to buy because it looked like fun

5. a cool new t-shirt I found on sale when I was on my previously discussed Nordstroms trip earlier in the week

6. a mini man-bag I found on sale at the Pumpkin Patch during the same shopping trip

7. one of those cafeteria trays Target has right now since he'll get a kick out of using it for dinner

8. basketball shorts I found on clearance (gotta love $3.98)

9. some little Play-doh thing...more craftiness

10. Dancing with the Stars Cardio workout...not saying that he needs to workout or anything, but he LOVES the show and he loves dancing...and it was just funny...Sean actually found it and insisted  we get it and he's right Mac's going to freak over it

11. a pink basket because I didn't want to spend more then a $1.99 on it and it was the only color left when you wait until Friday night before Easter

Check...

Another thing checked off the to-do list...the wedding gift's all wrapped and ready to give.  Bryce's sister is getting married next weekend...in Hawaii...and Mac will be with them in his Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops (which should be interesting considering he's never worn them before)...while I'm at home trying not to freak out as I imagine endless disasters.  You'd think I could handle this pretty well since I only have Mac about half the time, but he's usually about a dozen miles away, not on an island in the middle of the Pacific for a week.  He's out of his mind excited for the trip...then there's me on the phone with Bryce last night choking back tears as I remind him that he HAS to be careful with him...which he actually is, but I felt compelled to drone on about it which I'm sure he loved...chances are I'll continue the plea on Wednesday when we send Mac off with him...and at the end of each phone call which I'm really hoping I get every night they're there...that won't be overkill, right?   

Haven't stopped yet...

The ear ringing has subsided a little...the cold hasn't really, but I haven't let it stop me...even though I probably should take it easy....there's just so much I want/need to get done and thankfully I'm getting there.

Yesterday after Weight Watchers (down 2.4) & lunch my sister and I decided to just check out the mall for Easter outfits...mostly for her since I have plenty of skirts I could have dressed up in for brunch on Sunday.  We were browsing through Nordstroms and I found all these dresses in such great patterns...but they were all close to a hundred dollars and I do not spend that much on clothes...but then I thought I could just try it on for fun and wouldn't you know it turned out to be the most flattering dress ever...Sean actually met us over there after work and the look on his face alone when he saw it on me was worth the money. 

Okay It just occurred to me that I might sound really pompous saying how good I look in this dress, so please let me qualify that the reason I look good is because it manages to mysteriously make my work-in-progress body look as perfect as it ever could...which felt freaking awesome.

So long story short, I have a spiffy new dress and new brown shoes that I jumped for joy when found on clearance because I have the exact same pair in black from a couple of years ago...they are the only pair of heals I own and are ridiculously comfortable so I couldn't have found better shoes.  It was a very good day. :)

Back to getting stuff done today...so far I have one scrapping project done and turned in...read half my book for history...tackled paperwork...finished my science lab...and cleaned everything up around the house.  Which ultimately makes me feel a lot better than resting would have.

Off to write more science flashcards...

Did I mention?

Yesterday when I was going on and on about stuff I need to be doing I don't think I said, "Oh and I'm  kind of totally sick".

It was sometime in the past couple of weeks when I thought to myself how it's pretty amazing that I haven't really caught any colds or anything in awhile...must be that whole eating better and exercising thing...I was so impressed with my healthiness. 

Then it started Sunday morning with a sore throat and congestion, but not too bad.  Yesterday I was hanging there too until my ears wouldn't release...by about 10pm I was on my fourth kind of decongestant for the day and now they were ringing too.  I called the doctor's exchange, but chickened out about bugging him so late...the operator suggested something she learned from a flight attendant...soak a paper towel in some hot water, stuff it into a paper cup and put it over your ears.  Didn't work, but in my Benadryl induced loopiness I told Sean that it'd make a funny photo...and he was so proud to catch me trying to do the whole fake yawn thing for the thousandth time that day to see if that would work in conjunction with the steamy paper cup...nope.

So, I have a doctor's appointment in about an hour...hopefully they can get this fixed because I'm about one step away from crazy at this point...it's very anxiety producing to not really be able to hear...but it does make for funny photos, huh? :)

Spring-not so much-Break...

Can you see the little bits of green?  My herbs are just starting to really pop up...I've kept the watering can out on the kitchen counter so I don't forget about them and it just might be working...

So I'm on spring break from school this week which will be a nice break from class, but there's not much of any break from homework and studying...and then it's Monday morning and I'm my usual whirling dervish... working hard to be super productive except there's so much to do that I'm randomly jumping from task to task...so a lot of things are getting half done until I walk by them again to finish them. 

Getting April's birthday gifts ready to mail...laundry...cleaning up stuff in the kitchen...writing up my tide pool lab for science & writing out flashcards to study for next week's test...working on some scrapping stuff I need to get done this week...getting Mac's bathroom straightened-up since I grabbed everything out of there last week to wash it...writing out my white-board calendar for April...wrapping a wedding gift...tackling clutter around the house...writing a Target shopping list...clipping coupons...and so on...

Just now I finally sat down to eat a little breakfast and next up is exercising...then back to working on all that stuff...

My goal is to get everything done this week so next week when Sean's on Spring Break I can be lazy and we can go out to do some of the things we want like golfing and he wants to go see these tide pools I complained so much about which is fine with me since I'll just be on the beach with my stack of magazines. :)